Mandalawi: Another Journey in a Refugee Camp...

Dearest Loyal Blog Reader,

I love the feeling of sitting in my dark room writing to you, now knowing who you are and where you are. Tonight, I write to you with gentle music in the background, I write with sadness and happiness mixed together, well blended.

During one of the energizers

Tomorrow is the closing of another training. This was one was special because A.K. and I trained seven hours a day a group of Kurdish refugees from Syria. We trained while we can feel the sweat sliding down our backs under our clothes. For some of the hours the caravan was too hot as there was no electricity. We trained knowing some of these young people come from difficult backgrounds, we trained living some of their stories.

Training is an experience of its own no matter who you train, but when your participants are young boys and girls who have spent the past year living under a tent, and are unsure when they will leave then matters change.

I often question whether or not what I am doing is worth while, if I am indeed influencing young people and their lives. Am I even making a difference? Today, as I know tomorrow is closing day, I think to myself "if nothing else, these youth smiled, laughed, enjoyed their time and made new friends." Although I hope they take with them more than this.

I feel there is a connection from the participants too. One of the girls said she even dreams of us (the trainers), others tells us they don't want the training to end. This means the world to me. I have come out of my bubble in lala land, it took a while but I feel that bubble I was living in has burst. No, I can't change the world, but I can influence people positively, one person at a time. Right? Yes...? No...? I honestly hope so.

During one of the Peer Education sessions

Someone wrote to me that they are not confident, "Help me" read the little post. during lunch I get to speak to participants sometimes, they share with me their stories, making it sound so normal, but right away I feel pain, I feel my heart sting... so many live apart from their loves ones, the boys feel useless because they don't work, the girls want to go back finish their studies, others have family who have died, are disabled, sick etc.. we also have one girl who is pregnant, soon another baby will be born a refugee in a camp, under a tent....

first day of training- me!

I go to bed tonight proud of what I have done, at the same time upset. The typical mixed emotions I get every single time I have these peer education training sessions. What's weird is I never get used to it.

From this experience I have learned to appreciate my life, to respect my belongings, and to be thankful to my privileges. Finally, I admit those I train are much much better and stronger than I am. I respect them for enduring and living the lives they live and the conditions they are in.